If it is true that the more I write, the more I write (all the while never getting any better at using a comma), then it is also true that the less I write, the less I write. In fact, the less I write, the less I do anything.

I don’t want to finish my novel even though the ending is in sight. I don’t want to work on my art even though I’ve got a show and have spent money recently on supplies. I don’t want to clean even though really the bathroom is one more day away from scary. I don’t want to go to work either–I’ve got no ‘even though’ for this one. I just don’t want to grade any more homework. Okay, saying I don’t want to isn’t entirely accurate. I want to and then I don’t.

I do want to do things I shouldn’t do or don’t like–shopping and smoking, for instance. I find shopping anywhere other than a bookstore almost intolerable, but I get restless and think–let’s spend money! I’m killing time during the class break and I think–I could join the smokers! I don’t do it, but I think about it.

What does that mean when you’d rather take up a suicidal bad habit rather than FINISH YOUR NOVEL? Long-term goal–publication or lung cancer? Hmmm…

Pledge of the week (for my own entertainment): On Tuesday when I meet my writing group, I’m going to sit alone and write out the ending of this damn book.

Or you’ll know who I’m hanging out with at work…no, I won’t really ask for a cigarette. Second-hand smoke will be enough.

4 thoughts on “Resistance

  1. When I’ve got something hanging over my head that I don’t want to do, I don’t want to do anything either.

    Just do it! Get it over with! I know you can do it.

    Look, you can always rewrite it. What have you got to lose?

  2. Yes! You’re right (write?)! I’m getting it over with!

    Besides, like you said, I’ve got nothing to lose–everything is where is it supposed to be. (I think.)

  3. SBW, that’s so simple and perfect. If Tuesday is a mess, Wednesday I’ll start with three. Heck, maybe I’ll start with three before I go to bed tonight.

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