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happy sick

When working on a scene, I feel one of two ways. Either dread–as in this is not right and sounds awkward or dull or dragged out–or happy sick. My stomach lurches because the characters are going through hell and the rest of me dances because the dialogue and description are just right. I could jump up and down in my seat or punch the air I’m so happy.

But it’s awful too.

Of course, a moment later the doubt crashes in–maybe the writing is terrible and I’m delusional. Maybe the dialogue is stupid and the pacing sluggish and I’m ignorant to think otherwise. But really, when my stomach begins that thrilling and nauseating twist, I’ve got to be on to something.

Right?

3 thoughts on “happy sick

  1. I think you’re right.

    I’ve been trying to just write and not think about it. Just get it down on paper. Although, the doubt is creeping in. But I’m going to try to plunge ahead and then let all these things take over when I read it through the first time. That’s when I’ll pull out my dagger and spear my heart!

  2. I think you’re on to something. I hope you’re pumping the air today.

    For me, even when I get that good feeling, I still think I’m delusional about liking my writing. I sometimes welcome the dread and doubt because I feel like those feelings are sane and grounded in reality.

    I also have this habit: when I really like something I wrote, I read it over and over again obessively until I cannot stand it anymore and never want to see it again. I don’t consider this a good habit.

    Write on.

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