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The Rewrite Chronicles: Freaking Out

I can’t read the next scene. The scene needs revision. But for whatever insane reason the next scene fills me with such dread my stomach churns and my nerves twist, and I look away. What the hell am I thinking? Why did I write something so upsetting, and is it really upsetting or am I just weird? It’s not like I don’t know the ending, but still…

When writing the first draft, I can write anything. Fly down the page and let the imagination run amok and feel happy about it. Revisions are a bit like believing you’re in the love affair of your life only to open your eyes one morning and realize you’ve hurtled yourself down to a circle of hell. What am I doing here? And why didn’t anyone stop me?

5 thoughts on “The Rewrite Chronicles: Freaking Out

  1. Oh, Marta. Marta marta marta. We are in the same place, you and I. I used to like revising, until this book. Now I am lost, confused, and scared. It’s stupid how stuff that happens mostly in my own mind can create such a decidedly physical reaction. I guess if it’s happening to our characters it happens to us, in a way.

    AND, I think it’s absolutely hilarious that you mention hurtling yourself into hell. The last section I wrote was about my MC trying to get to Hell. Literally. LMAO

  2. Sherri, I guess it’s stupid in one way, but also hopes it means I’m writing something real in another. …or I’m crazy.

    Karen, if they are at all interesting, they are like that.

  3. Oh my. That’s what I did, for sure. Hurtled myself down into hell. And once I got out, looked back for years. What am I saying? Looking back, not looked. Still looking back. Will never stop going there in my mind.

    But, never mind that, I say don’t rewrite the part that’s got you squirming. It is most likely a jewel. Polish it, make it even more itself, but don’t make it safer. It came out of you for a reason. Let it lie there and breathe and blossom and move everyone who reads it.

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