life / mistakes / wishing / writing

The Dreaded Sensible Limit

Every single thing I can think to write sounds like whining. And nobody wants to read whining any more than they want to hear whining.

Still, I feel compelled to say I’m not visiting other blogs these days and I’ve barely written anything in the last few weeks.

Adding two classes to my schedule may not have been the best decision, but the bills will be paid, and that is always a good thing. I don’t want to be yet another wannabe writer waylaid by bills, housework, and, you know, everything else, but…nobody gets to swim against the tide forever.

Of course, maybe the tide is just a bad mood. Maybe a good mood will come in and lift all spirits.

The condition of our apartment is driving me crazy. The dust, the clutter, the endless chores, the small garden I let die, the messages I haven’t responded to… And two weeks into the semester and I’m behind on prepping for classes and for grading student work… At least I’m keeping up with the kid. For the most part. I set up an Etsy shop–haven’t made much of anything lately though. Supposed to have a show in January…no clue what to do for that.

But I’m whining even though I don’t want to. So. I’m going to get some sleep like a sensible person, and maybe dream like a sensible person too.

8 thoughts on “The Dreaded Sensible Limit

  1. I can relate. I work four jobs and am involved in several different groups, but I’m starting to reach my limit as to what I can actually handle. I don’t see my friends, unless they happen to be at something I’m involved in or an event I’m attending. I don’t get nearly enough sleep. I haven’t touched my novel in nearly six months. And yet, somehow, I don’t really want to go back to being unemployed. I didn’t get anything done then, anyway.

    • I know exactly what you mean about friends. If they aren’t at places where I’m working, then I don’t see them. Sigh. And who can write when stressed about money and bills? You have my sympathy and understanding. Keep the novel though. You’ll get back to it when the time is right.

  2. “Whine hangover”: you need to copyright that phrase.

    Last night we watched that Reese Witherspoon/Matthew Broderick dark comedy, Election. If you haven’t seen it, part of the back story is that RW’s character — a high school student — had had an affair the previous year with her English teacher. His character doesn’t play a big part in the film, but what made me think of it just now was: he was a wannabe novelist who hadn’t even begun writing yet, convinced that by falling in love with this student, leaving his family, etc., his novel would magically sort of emerge on its own. Towards the end, one of the characters wonders in voiceover if he ever finished his book, after leaving the town in shame shortly after the affair was exposed. The visual at that point shows that he’s working as a stock clerk in some megastore, mindlessly affixing pricing labels to box after box of items for sale.

    I thought about this. It was sort of ha-ha, look, the guy’s a loser. But I thought, well, who says writing would have made him happier or at all more fulfilled?

    You know for sure you’ve got people who will read whatever you write, if and when you write it. If I were you, I think I’d play it down right now, too. Even without the whining :), it’s too hard (at least for me) to write anything worthwhile if I’m super-distracted by real life.

    • Surely I am not the first person to think of a whine hangover!

      I’ve heard a lot about Election but haven’t seen it. Who is ever to say what will make anyone fulfilled–or made others think that person not a loser?

      I don’t know if I’ve readers who would read whatever I wrote, but that may be only something like…five people? I love those five people. But…sigh.

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