I’m reading this book about the films of John Hughes. Of course, I’m rethinking those dreaded high school years.
Sure, I hated high school, but perhaps my animosity towards former classmates is a bit unnecessary. My classmates were not that awful. Many teens have far more unpleasant experiences. Anyway, while reading one of the essays on Molly Ringwald, I realized why I want next to nothing to do with classmates from high school.
Witnesses. They are witness to that life.
And who wants those?
Marta Pelrine-Bacon 
Well that sums it up perfectly. I have a LOT of my high school friends on my Facebook, and it makes me uneasy in a way I can’t quite understand. College is the same. What has been interesting is seeing how my unease has lessened as we’ve interacted again over the past few years. It’ll probably never go away, but their acceptance helps.
I think we may have talked (in that online sort of way) about this before. My college friends I’m happy to see and connect with. High school… when I go home to visit my dad, I don’t even want to drive by my high school. I hate remembering it…or maybe I mean I hate remembering it a way that other people might remember it.
Since Roycroft is a pseudonym, I’ve been able to avoid all the reconnecting on facebook everyone has clamored over. One high school friend I do stay in touch with asked me why I so painstakingly avoided reconnecting. I told him that of all the groups I’ve gained acquaintance with through common external circumstances–college friends and most co-workers and colleagues from every job (except for one brief stint in a pizza parlor)–the high schoolers were people I knew for the shortest period (3 years) and had the least in common with (other than parental geographic choice). They were awkward years for me and, I’m guessing, for many of those I shared them with. You’re right–why would we ever wnat to relive them?!
I debated about the name thing when I went on facebook, but I decided that since I would publish under my real, I’d go ahead an use my name there too. For a really long time no one from high school found me, and honestly I didn’t think anyone was looking. I had assumed (hoped) I was forgotten. Why would anyone look for me form that time? But apparently I was wrong. But it is okay. I’m not thrilled, but it is okay. Some people from that time have turned out to be nice. Surprise.
Brilliant. It’s true. Witnesses. A criminal never leaves the witnesses alive. Love it.
I was a first class criminal in high school. I broke the laws of fitting in.
I didn’t want to know any of them when I left. It took me thirty years to change my mind. And they’re all so nice….
I love your comment: “I was a first class criminal in high school. I broke the laws of fitting in.”
Yes, lots of them are nice. I just hate to be reminded of who I was!
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I can count on one hand the number of people I speak to from high school, and frankly, it’s not even a whole hand worth of people. That time in my life was difficult and I don’t want to relive it. The people I am friends with were the people who were good to me during that time, with the exception of one. He wasn’t bad to me during high school, we just didn’t run in the same crowd, at all.
“was difficult and I don’t want to relive it.” Exactly.