effort / frustration / life / neurotic thinking / publication / rejection / synopsis

The Plague

I’m going to move into my house, set up my work space, and presto! Magic will happen.

I’ll finish all my art projects and start preparing for my next show.

I’ll finally know how to write that synopsis.

I’ll be brilliant.

I’ll get published.

Right?

This house business has pushed and shoved over so many things–including my rational thought.

I bet I can flail around as much in the house as I do in this apartment. Only I’ll have more bills.

All the advice I’ve been given by smart and helpful people, and still I dither and whine… Many brilliant and hard-working writers are waiting for attention. The publishing business isn’t going to miss me. It would have to know me to miss me…

Do you suffer from “if…then…” thinking? Or maybe “as soon as I…then I’ll…”

I have a plague of it over here.

One thought on “The Plague

  1. Oh hunny, do I ever suffer from this IfthenassoonasithenI’ll Plague, BIG TIME. Always waiting for/anticipating/planning/buying the next Big Thing that’s gonna fire me up and let me take off like a ballistic rocket on steroids.

    You’re not alone,…. And nor am I. We’re all pumped up until our faces are reddened and our jugulars are standing out like gnarled vines and throbbing alarmingly as we reach for the next Big Thing….. The Big Thing that’s gonna change it all and make happy ever after come true. The Golden Corner we’re all gonna turn.

    Time and time again we put all our money on this, often as a straight up bet on the one number, and even though we lose it all, we keep placing the bet again and again. Me, I’m a sucker for putting all the chips on the black 13.

    But you know what? Sometimes a change, a new thing, will spark something off and tilt the ground in front of you to set the ball rolling down the hill. Sometimes a corner really is golden because there is a freshly risen sun shining in your face as you turn it.

    The trick is to never give up, to keep trying and to keep hoping that the next effort you make, the next change of circumstances you bring about, the next time the Gods watch you getting up off your knees, will be the time things kick into life.

    Try, at the same time, to live in the moment and nurture the motivation to shift then load now whilst you’re hoping to turn that Golden Corner and so reduce the odds against you. Nurture the feeling that this new house is going to make a difference, because one thing’s for sure-certain, a move to a new environment WILL make a big change…. And why the hell shouldn’t it be the very change you need anyway?

    Don’t beat it down before you even get in there…. pump it up instead.

    Make the veins stand out in your neck and go for it fit to burst, hunny….

    We can’t all be like Monks, sitting contentedly cross-legged and possessing nothing more to motivate them than the scabby bit of hessian that is loosely wrapped around them against the freezing cold
    K.x {:o)

    P.S.
    Besides which…. You’re doing more than most just in writing regularly to this blog.
    Keep going and you WILL get there eventually…
    K.x {:o)

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