blogging / editing / effort / frustration / health / life / novel / publication / The Plum Tree / writing

Bloody Days

trying to relax

trying to relax

I’ve almost forgotten I blog.

Heading toward the Christmas season things took an unexpected turn. A routine mammogram ended in a biopsy and two surgeries, and I can’t say it’s all done yet. The main distraction is the incision that has continued to bleed for over a week.

There are plenty more serious health issues in the world, and I’m trying to keep this in perspective. But as far as annoyances go, seeing bandage after bandage fill with blood whether at work, hanging with the kiddo, or sleeping is maddening. Who wants to leave blood on sheets and pillows, bathrobes, towels, and bras?

Perhaps that is too much information. I might be beyond caring. Besides, I don’t know about you, but I knowledge of things like breast cancer was very limited. I had some understanding of chemo (No verdict yet on whether I’ll need radiation. Might not.) and like most of us I’ve seen all those pink ribbon campaigns, but it might have been helpful to have heard specifics. Have you ever had those moments when you look at a cut or a bruise or something not right on your body and you wonder, “Is it supposed to look like that?!”

It’s been a distraction.

With any luck, the worst of this is over and I can think. MOst of the time I don’t feel like I’m thinking. I just feel like I’m moving on to the next thing that needs to get done. Do you ever feel that way?

But I am still working on the line edits for my novel. That isn’t going to come out when I originally thought. Things have fallen behind. But my publisher and I are getting there, and that’s what matters.

17 thoughts on “Bloody Days

  1. Heal-it will happen. Frustration-it will happen too. It’s good you were able to write about this here. The bleeding, i hope it stops soon. Your book, i hope it gets back on course. Waiting is maddening sometimes. Maybe find a distraction that totally absorbs your attention that you are not doing right now but something you’d like to be doing & if you can then do it. I will wish for you to heal fast and to stop the beeding and for your book to bring you satisfaction. jk

    • Thank you, jk. The book is, at least, on course. Just a slow but steady course. And I am happy with the process overall because there will be fewer mistakes. I’m sure everything will fall into place soon.

    • Thank you, Juliette. I don’t feel amazing, that’s for sure. I’m quite lucky. The cancer they found was”tiny.” The surgeon got all of it out (or is at least confident he got it out and I’m optimistic that further test will prove it so). And even though these medical bills hurt, I do have good health insurance (by American standards).

      Really, this all happened so quickly, I haven’t had time for too much of a freak out. I’ve had a couple minor freak outs, but I know I’m lucky in many ways.

      I’ll be glad when it’s all over!

    • You are kind, DiAnne. I know there are women facing much greater challenges. Compared to the medical news some get, I’ve got it very easy. They’ve caught this early and are taking care of it. All looks good. Can’t say I don’t worry, but things will be fine. Thank you!

    • I’m not at all unhappy about the pace. I’m happy about the attention to detail and that we can be confident we did our best. I just wish this whole health thing hadn’t slowed me down! Thank you, Niamh.

  2. To some extent I know how it feels to be distracted by concerning health issues. But your body is healing and that’s all that really counts. The fact that you’re not distracted enough to stop working on your book is wonderful. Don’t be hard on yourself now, you’re doing amazing. I hope things clear up soon.

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