Into the Currents

“Just keep swimming,” as the fish says. (You know what fish.)

And here we are swimming from one year and into the next, and what a strange body of water it is.

This week between Christmas and the New Year is a favorite week of mine. I teach, so I’m always off. But unlike other breaks in my school year, it falls between two holidays, and one of those holidays inspires all manner of resolutions and promises (most of which may be doomed, but I am a fan of hope).

The days of this week feel out of the sync with the rest of the year. Though this year that doesn’t mean much. Since I started teaching on Zoom in March, most days have lost definition for me. Days used to have “feels.” A day “felt like” a Monday or a Saturday or what-have-you. It’s been like being underwater, unsure of which way is up and which way is down.

Plenty of people are working. Retail workers, delivery drivers, and certainly emergency responders, doctors, and nurses. There’s no break from parenting or just trying to survive to the next day in this heartbreaking, challenging, devastating year.

But anxieties and pains aside, I’m lucky to have this in-between time to think and plan and dream. (If your bliss is sleeping and staying in your pajamas and binge watching [show-of-your-choice], then do that if you can! This is valid and often necessary. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.)

I’ve been working on overcoming certain fears. Overcoming may be the wrong word. Learning to work around them may be more accurate. So, I’ve had an idea that’s been floating around in my thoughts for two years. Anxiety over judgment and failure have stopped me. So I’ve decided that while judgment and failure are still things that can definitely happen, I’m going to move forward anyway. I have to start somewhere. Or to stay with the metaphor, choose somewhere along the water’s edge to dive in.

Or wade in, as the case may be.

So in a few weeks, I’ll be launching a Patreon. I’m going to keep it simple. I’ll be serializing another novel! Unlike the one I serialized in Tiny Letter, this one is much longer and more complete already. I’ll have handmade zines and videos and a few other things. It will be there for whenever people want to come along on the journey. No one should feel obligated! No notes of apology are necessary!

Thanks for being here. Thanks for reading.

“Just keep swimming.”

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