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Where the blog goes on forever, and the neurosis never ends…

Thanks to angst encouraging nonsense like sitemeters and stat counters, I can see that some people have read the chapters that I so anxiously-optimistically-ridiculously posted.

First thought is something like, Oh wow. Someone’s reading it.

Second thought is like, Oh shit. Someone’s reading it.

Third thought is more like, Oh great someone’s reading it and not saying anything to me about it which means they think I’m an idiot and they’re asking what I was thinking and that I really should get a clue and become smart and, jesus, if I’m like this because someone is reading my blog what on earth am I going to be like if I ever get to be a published writer–who am I kidding–and what if, god forbid, what if someone in my own city is reading my book and I won’t know who they are and I’m going to be walking around with my insecurities on my sleeve–up and down both sleeves and down the front and back of my shirt and sitting on top of my head–and I’ll be looking around everywhere I go for that person, that one soul is who is reading my book–I can just see it now–I’ll walk into a coffee shop and there will be that, that, that stranger reading my book and I’ll scream. What am I talking about? Who is this person whose nerves just jumped out from her skin? Damn widgets.

The third thought is like the third rail. Keep away.

I’m exhausted.

3 thoughts on “Where the blog goes on forever, and the neurosis never ends…

  1. Well, I clicked on the chapters yesterday to copy them into Word so I can print them on paper to bring with me to read when I’m away from home. I haven’t read them yet. Comments will be coming, no worries!

    I am beginning to think statcounters are evil.

  2. ha ha ha. Just so you know, I clicked on your chapters more than once because I had to come back when I had more time to finish.

    I stopped studying my site meter stats everyday. I get a pitiful amount of traffic on my website as it is. But when I first put it on my site, I have to admit, it was very cool, and I looked at it every night to see where people were who clicked on my site. Sad thing is that most of them don’t stay on very long. Guess I’m not very appealing.

  3. Well, I’d like to say that I wasn’t trying to get confessions from anyone, but of course, that’s what I was doing because I’m in the thrall of my sitemeter–I think there’s going to have to be new circle of hell just for that.

    Anyway, SBW and Shelli, thanks for taking the time. And I find you both appealing.

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