The Fight

the kiddo battles the big guy
the kiddo battles the big guy

Rehearse for acting class (a scene from Chapter Two by Neil Simon), grade papers, create lesson plans, host write-ins, write novel, make art, play with kiddo, do the housework, prepare for teacher development readings, answer emails, check blogs, write blog, mail packages, get kiddo to do his homework, walk dog, pay bills, read more books, get car inspected, figure out this art show business, get enough sleep, and keep my temper.

The thing is much of this I don’t have to do. How much on your to-do list do you really have to do? How much of it do you just want to do? Now, speaking of things that are necessary for life and breath, I’ve got to go write that new novel–as if I don’t have enough words written already. Right?

7 thoughts on “The Fight

  1. (1) SLEEP. That’s one thing most people seem to trim first because it seems so non-productive.

    (2) The other thing to keep in mind — trying to remember this for myself right now — is: don’t stop paying attention to the people around you every day. What happens, I think, is that they (and we, to a lesser extent) support all the new activities we’re involved in, but sort of imagine we’ll do everything ELSE exactly the same… especially the bits that involve them. But with only so many hours in the day, it’s just not possible. Which means we’ve got to be extra-considerate, -attentive, even -tender (depending on the person) in what are now the shortened off-hours.

    Just speaking for myself, the “keep my temper” bit is real hard during multiple crunch times exactly because I’ve forgotten either of those two things. Forgetting the first can make pretty much anybody grouchy. (I imagine even sleepless bluebirds start singing in these blatting tones rather than tweet-tweet.) Forgetting the second makes me feel guilty and it’s a short step from that to either withdrawal or resentment and hence more guilt… which increases the psychological pressure on me, which just whittles the temper that much more.

    If there’s not enough time in the day (again, for me) to take care of (1) and (2), then something ELSE has to give way.

  2. well, I understand your feelings and your to do list. And it is exhausting.

    How much of the stuff I am doing do I HAVE to do? That depends on your perspective. All the caring for children and the feeding is a non negotiable (although I keep forgetting to feed myself). A lot of the cleaning I have given a pass to. But the art stuff, the writing? That’s the stuff I put on my to do list for me. Is it providing for my kids? No, although I hope someday it will. I am putting time in now in the hopes that it will soon start being financially viable. But more importantly, I do it’s because it’s the only thing I have for just myself. And I NEED to do it. Don’t know why, but I do.

  3. Taking care of my little one, working part-time and gearing up to launch my own biz has left me feeling a little thin….but like Rowena I do it now in the hopes that it all pays off and listening to your list I see how hard you work at all the things in your life and I commend you..it’s really freaking hard. You are doing it and I’m proud of you for doing it and sharing here….all of us blog-heads are here to support one another as we grow. You are growing and all the work you are doing will take you to that place you want to go so long as you know where that is and that little kiddo loves you for the time you share and how inspiring you are because even kids know when genuine people are working overtime to make dreams come true. M – you can do this, we’ve got your back and on the days that are tough come here, lay it all down and know you’re in good hands…we’ll help any way we can!

  4. Some of the stuff on my to-do list is internal. A whole list of shoulds and shouldn’ts and obligations and duties that I’m struggling to get free of. Those kinds of “to-do’s” are more of an issue for me these days than the external stuff.
    I agree about the writing though- damn if my kids ever noticed that there were dishes in the sink or dust on the floor, but they knew when mom was feeling good about life because she wrote that day.

  5. Sarah, that is the truth. I’m a happy mom when I’m a writing mom.

    And thanks Natasha and everyone else. Meeting people like you is why I’m glad I started blogging.

    JES, sleep is the first thing to go. I know this is not good.

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