“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” ~from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar

Today, I didn’t blindly pull the Sylvia Plath card. I took out my Poet Tarot deck and she was on top. Of course, she was. I placed her there myself because I love her so.

With this card, the creators of this deck suggest focusing on “the cathartic and purging aspect of writing and artwork–how the act of creating can release emotional blocks and unresolved conflicts.”

The creators of the deck ask you to consider how you access your depths.

Sometimes I wonder of my work is cathartic or shielding. My work stands between me and the abyss.

But if days pass by and I haven’t made anything, I feel unsettled, restless, and short-tempered. What about you?

The author Taisia Kitaiskaia and illustrator Katy Horan have Plath in their magical book, Literary Witches: A Celebration of Magical Women Writers. “The bees swarm on to enact Sylvia’s revenge.” Indeed. Sylvia was angry, as well she should have been. As so many of us are. How do we deal with our anger in a world that insists that we smile?

In my novel, The Blue Jar, I have a scene that has a little nod to Sylvia. I have this absurd hope that one day, someone will spot it and say something.

Today, I’m drinking out of my Sylvia mug and wondering how other women manage to harness their drive, their dreams, and be a force in the world.

I don’t know how they do it.

*

Thanks for reading.