Back in college, I fell into something of a bad habit–obsessively talking badly about a particular person. To be clear, he deserved everything I said about him. But perhaps my friends grew weary of hearing my rants again and again. Okay, they definitely did. And also, rehashing the unfortunate relationship wasn’t a good path to moving on to better things. And there were better things.

So, when I would say something negative about this particular lout, she would reply, “Three good things.” And I’d have to say three good things about him.

This didn’t stop me from believing he was a lout, but it did stop me from going on and on about it. I talked about other topics. I thought about him less and less. I moved on.

I’m thinking about this because I’ve been stuck in a negative loop talking about what’s going on in this country and what’s happening with my dad. Now, in both these cases, no amount of positive things is going to help me “move on.” Where to move on too? This isn’t a young person’s foolish romance. I can say all the nicest things possible, and the horrors will continue to exist. The injustices will continue to pile up. My father’s situation will not improve.

I’m not going to “positivity” my way out of anything. And I can’t “cheerful platitude” over what’s happening. I’m not suggesting anyone smile and pretend they don’t see what’s happening. See it. Acknowledge it. Do something about it.

But also, as they say on the airplane, put on your oxygen mask. You can’t let the horrors cling to your every thought like toxic barnacles or suffocating smog or rabid, multiplying screwworms. I don’t know–pick you analogy. Sometimes notice the good.

I’m far from the only person to say this. (Hey, if I wait to be most original person on the internet, I’ll never say anything.)

So this long introduction to say that’s what I want to do–write about three good things (joys, delights, if you will), to give my brain, my heart, a little respite.

(And yes, I could go for the obvious like my son, my husband, and some very dear friends, but I want to go more particular today.)

1. Finding random heart-shaped things. (See photo above.) My husband and I were walking across the parking lot and I spotted this–someone had filled in a pothole to look like a heart. Accidentally or purposely? Who’s to say? But I love the little thrill of noticing. Here in this ugly parking lot, if you’re paying attention, is a heart. And it’s like a little present.
2. When my son and his girlfriend come over for dinner, they wash the dishes! We don’t have a dishwasher, so they really wash the dishes. Soon, they’ll be moving out of state, so this is something that will not last, and even if it did, I don’t ever want to take it for granted.
3. Readers! Some people read my work! It still surprises me. And keeps me going. So thank you.

What are your three good things?

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