I don't remember when I started to talk about death. Mom and I used to talk about it--what we thought happened afterwards in particular. In my early teens, Mom, her college classmates, and their professor spent the night in a cemetery with recording equipment and cameras with infrared film. Later, Mom's boyfriend (who had been …
Continue reading A Possibly Morbid Post (that I needed to write anyway)
Back in college, I fell into something of a bad habit--obsessively talking badly about a particular person. To be clear, he deserved everything I said about him. But perhaps my friends grew weary of hearing my rants again and again. Okay, they definitely did. And also, rehashing the unfortunate relationship wasn't a good path to …
Above is my art. I'm not skilled at drawing realistic animals. I'd like to be, and maybe I can figure out how to work some classes into my life, or at least some YouTube videos. Then I could draw better foxes, rabbits, and dragons. Please accept my poor rendering of a fox. The sort of …
In my office, I've stuck a few dozen glow-in-the-dark stars on the walls. It's silly because during the day, I can't see them. Well, I can if I look for them, but they're easy to miss. And I don't sit in my office in the dark. Weird, huh? So I see the stars only at …
(So many content warnings, y'all. Don't click the links if you don't want to see the images. I linked them in order to cite some sources.) Many of us know what it is to lose someone. We may journey through the land of grief on different paths, facing different monsters, but everyone who lives long …
A door at one of my favorite places. I am, in spite of the state of things, an optimist. Not an oblivious cheerful cheerleader of relentless, cloying positivity. No. Life is hard. When you're trapped in the headlight of an oncoming train, life may very well come along and hit you in the back of …
(Two posts in one week! It must be a semester break.) The first thing I'm going to do in the New Year is contradict myself. (Honestly, it's a lifelong habit. Why change now?) In my last post, I talked about organizing. And yes, I'm still going to experiment with ways to organize documents and photos, …
Continue reading It’s (Still) the Most Liminal Time of the Year
Here is what I started last year--a year ago this very week, in fact. But then, I put this journal in a place where, of course, I didn't see it again until a few days ago when I rearranged a few things. So, let's try again. That's life, isn't it? Trying and trying again and …
Continue reading The End of the Year Means Organizing Something. (I don’t make the rules.)
I went as the night sky for Halloween. Below is me with the moon I made. Now the moon hangs in my office window. I rarely open the blind, so it isn't going to block the view. Mostly I don't open the blind because if I do, too much sunlight streams in and it's hot …
Crater Lake, August 2025 As we plunge into the unknown waters of the future, I brace for the shock of the cold and the depths and whatever monsters might wait. But as a psychologist I recently spoke with told me to do, when you start obsessing about what if, ask yourself what is? My endless …
Marta Pelrine-Bacon 