We dispatched the 12-foot Amazon with a spear.
They thought she was dead, but it was her most common trick. She waited until they turned their backs, pulled the spear from her chest, and sent it right back, going through one head and then the next.
In college I worked as a nighthost. This meant sitting at a table in the lobby from 11:30 pm until 3 am. or from 3 am until 7 am. I checked IDs, had the guys sign in their guests, and watched out for smuggled alcohol. I worked in the fraternity dorm. Six fraternities lived in the building and I was the only woman who worked the night shift.
My fellow nighthosts and I had to keep a log of things that happened during our shift. Most of the time nothing happened. So one of the guys, started making things up. The guy who worked after him, added to the story. It didn’t take long for the story to turn into a bloody adventure tale pitting the guys against me–and I became the giant amazon.
I opened the log and saw the lines packed with details of how they had to rid the world of this monstrous amazon named Marta. I wrote back. The amazon had amazing powers of survival and she hunted each guy down and slaughtered him in one gory fashion or another.
The stories went back in forth. The daytime receptionists began reading them. The guys’ friends began reading them. Our boss read them.
“Don’t they bother you?” someone asked.
“No,” I said. “The stories are funny, and I kill the guys too.”
“You’re a good sport.”
I got called that a lot. The guys who wrote the stories called me that. “Thanks for being such a good sport.” “We like you. You’re such a good sport!”
The other day my friend JES said something about being a likable guy–which he noted doesn’t help during the submission process. Absolutely. I’ve been a good sport, polite, nice, and other bland but pleasant words. Too bad I can’t get published for having a pleasant personality. Editors don’t like me or dislike me. The story must speak for itself. Plenty of jerks get published because their writing works.
(Though I’ve never understood how writers who create thoughtful characters end up treating real people badly. But oh well.)
It scares me to have my writing stand up for itself without me alongside it to give it a gracious, friendly introduction. Do you ever think that if you could just chat with an agent or editor for a while, it would help get your stories through? What is it about you that ought to make an agent/editor accept you–if they only knew!