Halloween It's hard to believe the friend I'm talking to in this photo is dead. She was 11 years younger than me. When she reached out to me several years ago after her cancer diagnosis, she took comfort in knowing that I'd had cancer and was doing well. I offered assurances her in her first …
I promised something creative everyday, and today that something is for death. Perhaps you haven't experienced this yet (and I love if you haven't), but I know many have had that moment when they walk outside, the world rushes about its business, and you want to shout, "Hey! But someone is missing today! How can …
I didn't "win" my "battle" against cancer. I'm not dead, and I am (so far and as far as I know) cancer free, but saying I won makes me feel as if I was stronger than others or made better choices. I did what most everyone else did (everyone who has health insurance anyway)--showed up …
A couple of weeks ago at a Death Cafe, people talked about whether they were afraid of death and what it meant to live without that fear. I've been thinking about things people said. Keep in mind it's a room full of strangers trying to voice thoughtful perspectives on big questions in a short amount …
My friend, Ami McKay, has written a lovely and compelling memoir. And like it says on the cover, it tells the story of cancer, love, and fate. Since I know Ami, I'm sure I read her narrative with a different eye than someone who has not gone along with her to copy bathroom graffiti (from …
I'm two years out from my cancer treatment, and so far, so good. I see my oncologist this month for another check up. Fingers crossed. of course. When I hear of anyone who's died of cancer, I pause. The closeness of that person to me doesn't matter as a mix of feelings brew. A sense …
On a lovely October morning in 2012, I was sitting on my patio looking forward to a day of writing and drinking coffee. My phone rang. It was my doctor's office. I almost didn't bother to answer. What did they want? I didn't have an appointment to confirm. But I answered and the woman on …
In a few days, I'll celebrate another birthday. This birthday will make me older than my mother (pictured) was when she died. She died when I was 21, and I remember one night (though it was probably actually many nights) failing to sleep and thinking about the future without my mom. In my dorm room, …
The other day, I finished reading Smoke Gets in Your Eyes. I discovered the author, Caitlin Doughty, around the same time I received my cancer diagnosis. I watched her video about talking to children about death. Now, I had an optimistic outlook on my cancer treatment, but I had to tell my kid, and my …
The other day I listened to an On the Media radio story about the decline of the beat reporter, and one beat they covered was the obituary beat. I struck by the realization that so many papers no longer cover obituaries, and while some papers might have an online version, families have to pay every …
