I've started several blog posts that I haven't finished. Percocet took over and I couldn't think. And everything I write seems ridiculous. Trite. Meaningless. I don't have anything to add to the cancer narrative. I can't add any original observations. I've started reading two breast cancer memoirs. I finished the first chapter of one of …
Category: neurotic thinking
Imagination Fail
Eight days until surgery. I've got my post-op shirts and even two small post-op pillows. One pillow is recommended for the drive home from the hospital. It will go between the seatbelt strap and me. I've seen post-op pictures of others to give me an idea what to expect. I'm getting my house in order, …
Resistance isn’t always futile. Sometimes it stops progress for years.
I've been ignoring my blog. Maybe I mean neglecting. I'm supposed to be figuring a website for my art and all that. People ask me, "Do you have a website?" I feel most failure-esque to say, "I have a blog." I mean, you can't sell art on this thing. Sure, someone could leave me a …
Continue reading Resistance isn’t always futile. Sometimes it stops progress for years.
Perfect Sentences and Other Lies
Some people promise to diet or to exercise every day or to be more patient. Do you do that? Swear you're going to be different and somewhere between three minutes and three days that is all shot to hell? Mine is that I'm going to be less neurotic. I've been trying to come up with …
Is that the best you can do?
In high school I spent one year on the yearbook staff. I started the class really excited, and I ended the class hoping never to speak of it again. When my mother saw the section I'd worked on--the advertising section, which I hated but did work hard on--she said, "That doesn't look very good. That's …
Editing Rehab
Hello. My name is Marta, and I'm an editaholic. I've spent hours editing, gotten lost editing, and been unable to remember what I just wrote after editing. After a long night of editing, I've woken up with strange characters in my head. During my breaks at work, I'd be eating my lunch and sneaking in …
Editing: The Mutant Virus Edition
If you want to be a published author, you have to edit your work. No matter the publishing path, editing is along the way. Sometimes editing makes me feel like I know what I'm doing. Really. I see the problem. Take my pen to it. Look at the page and see all those marks, and …
Investaphobia
No one in the history of the universe invests money in a company knowing they're going to lose all said money. Oh, some people may invest in losers because they know how to actually get more money later--yeah, real estate nightmare, anyone--but the plan is to make money eventually. People lose money of course. Plans …
The Perplexity of Others
A fellow human being does something you don't understand, how do you react? It depends, probably. Maybe you get confused, angry, or sad. Maybe you tell yourself to keep an open mind, but maybe you're clear on right and wrong. I try to open my mind to another possibility. Sometimes I manage it. Sometimes not. …
The Scariest Part
So it begins. I'll edit my novel. My novel will go out into the world. I've worked many years for this. Today I told my dad that my book will be published. I never talk to him about my writing. Once, years ago, I told him I'd written a book. His only reaction was to …
Marta Bacon 